You know how it’s becoming really trendy to spout shit about how saying, “I’m too busy”, is actually saying “it’s not a priority”?
I want to punch all of those people.
That’s a really unfair thing to say to our friends, and an especially unfair thing to say to ourselves. It’s icky and guilt-trippy and we don’t need more of that.
You can’t manufacture time. There are only so many hours in the day.
There’s another saying that isn’t getting enough airtime lately:
If everything’s a priority, nothing is.
On any given day, I want to make it a priority to:
- answer all of my emails
- have a green smoothie for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and the healthiest healthy health wrap you can dream up for dinner
- exercise for at least an hour
- call my mom back
- finally get together with a dear friend who lives 15 minutes away but whom I haven’t seen since July
- write to my dad (he’s stationed in the middle east right now and I miss him)
- create a blog post or three or five so that I have a queue
- work on internal bizdev stuff
- meet all of my milestones & deadlines
- answer all of my emails, again, because I can’t leave my inbox unattended for fifteen minutes
If I could just do all of this by 5pm, my evening would be free to:
- check out that new yoga studio
- work on a new painting
- take the dog for a super long walk
- spend a couple of hours mountain biking with my fiancé
- finish that book that I started two months ago
- get 8 solid hours of sleep (because I keep reading that I’m not nurturing my sacred body temple well enough if I’m only getting six… whatever.)
If I could just get all of THAT stuff done on a regular basis, surely I could make it a priority to travel, go back to school, maybe start a second business…?
All of this and I don’t even have kids! Furthermore, I have a fiancé who acts as my personal assistant and does most of the cooking and the housework. What about the mothers amongst us? What about the single gals who also have to do the laundry and the grocery shopping and the vacuuming…?
I’m calling bullshit. Seriously.
It’s okay to be too busy. There’s no possible way to get everything done, regardless of whether or not you call it a priority. Even if it turns out that “I’m too busy” is actually short for, “I’m too busy to make that a priority and still have time left over to make these other things a priority, too,” we can all do each other the common courtesy of letting “I’m too busy” be reason enough to not go through life battling unreasonable expectations.
Don’t let someone else’s pseudo-epiphany/pop-philosophy tell you that you’re not good enough, that you’re not sacrificing enough, that you’re not prioritizing enough.
Here’s the thing: you do enough. You are enough.
Trust that you know what has to be a priority and when you can let yourself off the hook. And when that stuff is done, shut down in the evening and take a fucking bath or sip a glass of wine on the porch or whatever it is that makes you feel nourished. And screw anyone who makes you feel bad about it.
13 Comments
Oh, thank you very much for this. This is my life right now and it is a relief to hear someone actually say it.
I’d love to be able to travel more often and play more video games and have more sex and… on and on and on. Alas, there are other things that must take precedence. Things like my family, my biz, and (sometimes) myself. Once those things are taken care of, I can breathe.
Perhaps that’s why I’m lacking oxygen? Not enough breathing room. <3
I love this. So very much. This week I was really just too busy, and you know what? Something had to give – my inbox. And I’m so not sorry about it. xoxo
I’ll second that! When I was reading this (in my e-mail), I glanced over and noticed that I have over 900 (no, that’s not a typo) unread e-mail. Oh, and it’s difficult to get 8 hours of sleep when you’re stressed about the other stuff you haven’t got done. I’m not even mentioning how stressed I am cuz I hate my day job. *sigh* A very good post, and I’m right there with ya!
amen sister!
Amen, sistah! Thanks for making it “a priority” to type up all the things I’ve been thinking and haven’t “found the time” to articulate. <3
Bless you, Leah, for saying out loud what most of us have been thinking…ya know, when we have the TIME to think!!! Thank you, dear girl <3
Love this. My school day starts at 7 am and ends at 4 (I advise extra-curriculars). Then it’s EVERYTHING personal after that, except, oh wait, I have to correct papers.
I’ve started listening to the news on the way to work and home, just to save time on being informed.
Right on…
Tweeted…. thank you, thank you for calling it like it is! Awesome post.
I found you from Kelly Rae. Thank you for the beautiful post. Really. It was just what I needed to hear. Xoxo.
You know Leah, your post makes me wonder why, why, why women are so busy now-a-days. I remember my mom sitting and having coffee everyday for 20-30 minutes with her friend (she didn’t work mind you). But with all the technology that is supposed to save time, I think we are busier than ever. Expectations are WAY HIGHER than ever. Our expectations, family expectations, community expectations, society’s expectations…the world is so much more sophistocated so we demand so much more of ourselves and others. We have to QUIT that and, like you say, know deep in our souls that we ARE enough, and what we do is enough and we shouldn’t try to knock ourselves out to do more, and more, and more. Love your post. Met you for the first time with Kelly Rae Roberts Flying lessons! Thank you for sharing.
I found you through Kelly Rae, too; I love the blog design you did for her and scrolled to the bottom for the credits. I LOVE what you wrote here and have recommended it across several Facebook pages. Thanks for sharing!